Why does conspiracy matter?

What difference does it make if people believe or don’t believe in conspiracy? Why should we care if people fall for crackpot conspiracy theories involving conspiratorial lizard people or earthquakes around the world caused by a remote facility in Alaska?

It matters for the same reason good hygiene and education matter. Like it or not, politix is a huge part of life, and conspiracy is a huge part of politix.

If you work for a big corporation, your employer probably conspires against you 24/7. If you’re lucky enough to have a union, take a closer look; I learned the hard way that the National Education Association and the Teamsters are both conspiratorial trash cans.

Every paycheck you get, every issue of just about every newspaper you read, every political election you read about is a scam. Why do you get screwed by the IRS every year? Because a bunch of rich, powerful scumbags conspire against people who aren’t so rich and powerful.

Will understanding conspiracy change anything?

Practically speaking, becoming the world’s foremost authority on conspiracy won’t give you the power to change the world. I fought Seattle’s education mafia harder than anyone in history, and I was sadly unable to reform the Seattle School District. As they say, you can’t fight city hall. I still get screwed every pay day, once a year during the tax season, and during each election.

But don’t surrender to pessimism. A lot of stupid people invest in U.S. government bonds. With the U.S. economy on the verge of collapse, that’s probably just about the most stupid investment a person could make. Thousands of Seattleites have made a fortune by investing in Microsoft. However, I have a pretty good hunch China is going to downsize Microshaft’s sleazy empire in the very near future.

I would much prefer to invest my money in China’s high-tech industry. Unfortunately, the U.S. government is planning legislation making it illegal for U.S. citizens to invest in Chinese high-tech.

There’s a lot to sort out here, and I don’t have all the answers. In the end, it’s best to not put all one’s eggs in one basket, of course. However, I have far more faith in China than I do my own increasingly derelict country.

I certainly won’t kowtow to the Jews’ Holocaust conspiracy. I don’t believe a word those lying assholes say about their “Holocaust,” and, even if it was true, why should I give a damn? The American Holocaust was far worse than their little adventure with accountability, and it hasn’t ended. Moreover, the American Holocaust is far more relevant to me, and its victims are innocent.

Bullying—in school, the workplace, or just about anywhere—is often conspiratorial. How many bullies are affiliated with gangs? And if you’re being bullied in the workplace, it’s a good bet the bullies have close friends among union officials. That’s certainly the way it works at UPS. Many of the bullies I encoutered while working for the Seattle School District were very well connected politically. Were they merely following oders when they bullied people?

Perhaps the best answer to the opening question is truth. As any self-respecting philosopher can tell you, truth can be an incredibly elusive thing, but rational thought can at least steer us away from deception and blatant lies. If you don’t believe in conspiracy, or if you believe “Genocide Joe” Biden is a clone, then you’re going to have a hard time understanding the world around you.

In that spirit, conspiracy science is one of the best avenues to a solid education the average brainwashed person could wish for. Or, to put it another way, dangerous thinkers are far more powerful than dummies.

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